Inspired by Captain Awkward’s hilarious Search Term Quickies post, I thought I might answer a few of our stranger search term inquiries/comments (we’re able to see the search terms that lead viewers to our blog) WITH ILLUSTRATIONS. Welcome, weird denizens of the internet, hope I can be of some help.

“fucking rape culture”


“shaved tibetan terrier”

Come again?


“dating 2013 hard women men”


“pregnant women cant touch dog’s hair”

I do not think this is a thing.


“i hate my large labia”

I’m so sorry you feel that way! I hope you’ve found the Large Labia Project and I hope it gives you some happy feelings.


“adulting”

I’m pretty sure none of us know how to do this. Check back when we’re forty.


“the perfect shaved labia”

Why, thank you!


“how to be out as bisexual without being obnoxious”

1. Have lots of fun dates with whoever you want. 2. Treat everyone you date with respect. 3. Profit.


“gay large man overpowers”

I sure hope you found what you were looking for but I kind of doubt it.


“choose to label myself feminists”

Our first multiple-headed blog visitor! How cool!


“2013 i’m a woman in lust with a lesbian at work”

Aren’t we all?


“i’m fat how i take pic and won’t make me look fat”

I think this is probably impossible but there are like ten million ways to take a picture that can make you look awesome and sexy. Good lighting is great, experimenting with camera angles is always worthwhile, and wearing something really flattering that makes you feel like the shit can’t hurt either.


“a climber is not a crazy man”


“i fancy one ring”

Welcome, Gollum!


“i cannot touch my friend”

Please check to see if your friend is a ghost.


“mean loud white woman”

Yes.


“is jon snow sexist”

I do not know because I literally cannot stand to look at his disgusting greasy sleazeball smarmy face for one second.


AND last but not least:

“the bitch in me gets shit done”