They say feminists don’t have a sense of humor. “They” are known to be a very vocal group that says a lot of things like “curiosity killed a cat,” “time heals all wounds,” or “don’t count all your eggs in one basket before they hatch.” Well, I for one aim to reclaim the title of feminist buzzkill. I embrace it with all my unfynny being. I delight in giving dudebros the deadpan, concerned furrowed eyebrow, or the death glare.
Here some examples for those who want some help becoming a feminist buzzkill:
1. Playing Spikeball at a party.
Dudebro: I smacked that ball like Chris Brown did Rihanna.
Me: That’s not funny. [Pause]. Violence against women is never funny.
2. I’m the door person for a dance event.
Me: That will be $7 tonight
Dudebro: Oh, I’m sure it’s more than that *wink wink, nudge nudge*
Dudebro: See, I was trying to be funny here.
Me: And you totally tanked
3. At work, waiting for the elevator. Had my blood drawn that morning (for science!).
Dudebro: Did you donate blood?
Dudebro: Good girl!
Me: [Pause] *Raised eyebrow
4. Talking about women in movies, bechdel test, etc.
Dudebro: Do women even want to see a movie where women talk about something other than men and shopping?
Kid: How did Spider Man get his costume?
Andrew Garfield: He made it. He made it with his bare hands. He sewed it, he took some sewing classes and some needle work. It’s kind of a feminine thing to do, he made a very masculine costume out of a very feminine [task].
Ema Stone: How is it feminine?
Andrew Garfield: It’s amazing how you took that as an insult.
See, celebrities do it too! Embody the spirit of Emma Stone and embrace your inner feminist buzzkill. Speak up! You shouldn’t be the only one feeling awkward when someone says something sexist/racist/able-ist etc. Speak up and make the offender share the awkwardness of the moment. You too can make the world a better place one death glare at a time.