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Sometimes we at DDP get emails from spambots. We like to think that we appreciate ALL of our followers, even the robotic, so we decided to take the post topic suggestions of one particularly articulate spambot and provide an informational guide to some common entertaining questions. Please to enjoy.

People on deviantart never fail to come through for me.

8 Interesting Facts About Whiskey

  1. Whiskey is always orange.
  2. There are many colors of whiskey.
  3. Men and sheep like to drink whiskey.
  4. Whiskey contains many vitamins.
  5. Whiskey was invented by bats.
  6. Whiskey pairs well with cereal, bananas, and peanut butter cookies.
  7. Whiskey is the only alcohol that can be consumed as a liquid and a powder.
  8. Whiskey is accepted at many post offices in lieu of stamps.

How to Host a Dinner Party on a Budget

  1. Buy some dinner.
  2. Write a budget.
  3. Place the dinner carefully on the budget.
  4. Invite over some friends and enjoy!

A Guide To Choosing The Right Wine Glasses

  1. Look at the wine glasses in the store. Observe: do they have any comic book heroes or trains of any sort printed on them? Comics of trains are also acceptable.
  2. If they match these criteria, purchase them. If not, they are not the right wine glasses. You must look in another store or if you are pressed for time, drink wine out of mason jars.

A Guide To Dinner Party Etiquette

  1. Arrive inebriated. Your hosts will be delighted that you considerately started the party for them.
  2. Bring a gift. Some suggestions include: live raccoons, a porn book, all of your uncles.
  3. It’s customary to bring your own phonograph. The other guests will expect to hear lively polka music and everyone always forgets theirs at home, so be the star guest who remembers!
  4. No one likes a guest who sits down. Remain standing at all times. If dinner is served at the dinner table, stand on your chair. Your hosts will be delighted that you are so polite.
  5. Avoid wearing clothing. It sends the message “I like to be warm and fashionable.” You don’t want to look like a braggart.
  6. Above all, make yourself at home! Hosts like when you look through their closets and rearrange their knickknacks for a fun surprise later!

Dinner Party Themes That Your Guests Will Love

  1. Space prom
  2. Sex Gone Wrong
  3. Racism
  4. Burt’s Bees Products
  5. Grandma
  6. Safety Scissors

How To Create The Perfect Home Bar

  1. Chop up some pecans,
  2. Chop up some rolled oats,
  3. Dice your house finely,
  4. Combine these ingredients in a mixing bowl,
  5. Drizzle with honey, spread on a baking sheet and bake for 15-20 minutes at 400 degrees.

Great Gifts for New Home Owners

  1. Your children
  2. Mold
  3. An ant farm
  4. Other people’s children
  5. Shoes
  6. Rancid fruit

Top Tips for Improving Your Wine Knowledge

  1. Drink a lot of wine and then read all the books in your home library.

Top Tips for Show Stopping Dinner Party Cooking

  1. Don’t cook dinner parties, what did they ever do to deserve being flambeed?!

How to Prepare for Moving House

  1. Put on non-skid shoes.
  2. Wear clothing you don’t mind getting dirty.
  3. Take some Dramamine.
  4. Stand with your legs shoulder width apart. Brace your arms firmly but bent slightly at the elbow against a wall.

How to Host a Barbecue

  1. Ask your barbecue what date would be best for them. Make an effort to accommodate them. Barbecues will be flexible to be polite but they often have busy schedules.
  2. Check out some books from your local library about the barbecue’s culture.
  3. Make sure you have foods that your barbecue will enjoy, such as grapes.
  4. Make your home a comfortable and inviting place for the barbecue by softening your lighting and buying new throw pillows and potpourri.

How to Host a Cocktail Party

  1. Stock up on microwaved dinners such as Hungry Man and TGI Fridays Quesadillas. Cocktail parties often do not know how to cook but they have big appetites.
  2. If you have a dog, crate it in the back room so it doesn’t frighten the cocktail party. If the cocktail party asks to pet the dog, you may bring the dog out.
  3. Don’t expect the cocktail party to remove their footwear. Some cocktail parties are self conscious about their feet.
  4. Think of interesting conversation topics that your cocktail party might like to discuss such as world peace, topiaries, the Batman movies and sugar.
  5. Above all, have fun and enjoy the company of your cocktail party!
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