I hope y’all are having a fabulous weekend!

As usually, we read a whole bunch of stuff this week. Then, we emailed it to each other with (occasionally snarky) commentary. Now, I’m compiling it all for you here in this handy dandy post! By the way, I encourage you to follow us on twitter @DisruptDinner if you’d like to see these in a sometimes-more-timely fashion.

As ever, we encourage you to plug your own blog posts and share interesting articles you’ve been reading in the comments.

click for source: selfhelpful.tumblr.com

Conforming to gender norms: solutions!

  • It looks like only the more tabloid-y papers are reporting on this so far, but Olympic skier Bode Miller is suing for custody of his child- a child he has not been raising or visiting. He had the trial moved to California, so single mother Sara McKenna will have to give up a scholarship at Columbia University and go deeper in debt in legal fees (she’s already $35K under) to fight for custody of the baby. “How can an unmarried pregnant woman be penalized for moving from California to New York to attend Columbia University on the GI Bill?” her lawyer asked.
  • As a pair, these articles are about how men often don’t communicate emotionally in relationships. or much as adults, at all. This one talks a bit about how this is influenced by the fact that having feelings is “outside the act-like-a-man-box.”
  • The DCCC provides safe, empowering and fun childcare as a form of political solidarity with social justice organizations in the DC Metro area in order to make their work more accessible for people with childcare responsibilities. They’re accepting applications for volunteers until TODAY, so if you live in DC, sign up now! Remember childcare matters.
  • LGBT community marketing survey, go add your voice! They bring us goodness like the “Bisexual Representation in Media graphic, which shows that bisexual people view only slightly less biphobia in LGBT media than in mainstream media.
    bisexual representation in the media
  • Omg seriously Michigan?! Comparing rape to a car accident is not cool.
  • The questions people get asked about their race.
  • The Salvadoran health department approved the use of cesarean surgery for “Beatriz” since it’s a birth procedure and not technically an abortion. It’s an interesting workaround but this is by no means an excuse to stop fighting the draconian abortion laws.
  • This article gives just one more reason why YA fiction and feminism are BFFLs.

    Veronica Roth’s Divergent, Scott Westerfeld’s Uglies, and Lauren Oliver’s Delirium all have much more in common than being books I like. They are also all about a world in which the government has taken an inappropriate interest in people’s personal lives, regulating everything from how people look to how they fall in love to what they do for a living. It’s a scary thought, and one that compels a lot of people to keep turning the pages.

    It’s also, for us gay people, a reality. Imagine a world in which the government won’t let us marry who we want to marry? We don’t have to! That’s already happening. Brock and Chet and Sage aren’t the only ones who have to fight for their right to fall in love. Thousands of us are doing that every day, across the country, as we speak.

  • Great interview with Tristan Taormino by Anna Breslaw regarding feminist porn…in Cosmo, of all places!
  • A very moving account of a moment of support between Sir Patrick Stewart (who does work on domestic violence) and a woman who survived an abusive relationship. And there’s a video of their exchange!
  • How “boys will be boys” informs rape culture starting as early as preschool.
  • Amazing essay on the erasure of women in storytelling and the reasons why it works (as well as an amazing social commentary).

    What is “realism”? What is “truth”? People tell me that the truth is what they’ve experienced. But the trouble is, it’s often hard to sort out what we actually experienced from what we’re told we experienced, or what we should have experienced. We’re social creatures, and fallible.

  • This is an interesting idea: genderswap movie casting (seen here for LotR)- genderswap and racebent casting = just two more reasons to love fandom.
  • Victory in #FBrape – This was a really well-designed and well-run campaign, and we’re glad Facebook responded so positively. We’re also encouraged that FB actually seems to be seeking input from the organizations on the changes instead of just being like
  • A book exploring rape culture: Someone You Already Know
  • Cheryl Strayed as Dear Sugar is pretty awesome, generally, but we thought you (dear readers) might especially enjoy this column. Remember this when you encounter pressure like our fabulous guest poster Nadia described in her post about shaving.

    I know as women we’re constantly being scorched by the relentless porno/Hollywood beauty blow-torch, but in my real life I’ve found that the men worth fucking are far more good-natured about the female body in its varied forms than is generally acknowledged. Naked and smiling, is one male friend’s only requirement for a lover. Perhaps it’s because men are people with bodies full of fears and insecurities and shortcomings of their own. Find one of them. One who makes you think and laugh and come. Invite him into the tiny revolution in your beautiful new world.

  • The most recent Femen protest in Tunisia. A friend of the blog there said, “I’m actually impressed with the crowd’s reaction (minus the aggression against journalists, of course) to this demonstration. They were verbally aggressive, but this could have gone much much worse.”
  • Fantastic and hilarious skewering of some racist bullshit:
  • Very good advice on how to date a sex worker. The underlying principles that are discussed (respect, self awareness, communication, etc) are also incredibly important in consensual non-monogamy as well as even monogamous non-sex-worker relationships.
  • Lucy: I can’t decide whether to laugh, cry, or scream. TEH WIMENZ! FAMILIES! ABORTION! LAYDIEZ UNDERMINING OUR SOCIAL ORDER BY PROVIDING FOR THEIR FAMILIES!! There’s even some evo psych asshatery thrown in there for good measure! At this point, are they just engaging in feminist sniping for funsies?
    Miss X: How dare women earn more than their partners? Don’t they realize they are DESTROYING  their marriage? Think of the children! Think of the animals! What would llamas think about our social structure? The horror!
    Skylar: “We as people in a smart society…” suuuuuuuuurrre.
  • This article points out that all people suffer from patriarchal/misogynistic society, regardless of gender. Feminist and male sexism issues are NOT mutually exclusive but actually have the same roots and can be challenged inclusively.
  • “The film, in both versions, examines what happens when Pakistani girls and women pursue legal justice for rape charges. Over several years, it followed Kainat Soomro, who was 13 when she said she had been gang-raped by four men, and the efforts by those accused to clear their names.”
  • Miss X: Is your BBQ party not sexist enough? Try this invite!
    Logan: That is the new cool way to smoke pot. Through the vagine. SORRY, CIS MEN.
    penetrated by a kebab? click for source
  • From Skylar: Huggies has been pushing this “Mommy Answers” campaign recently and it’s been bugging me. Obviously men don’t participate in the child-rearing process so there’s no reason to market parenting info to them, they wouldn’t have any questions anyway! Sorry Huggies, I don’t care how useful/accurate your Q&A system is, still #notbuyingit
  • When men and women are asked, “What do you do to prevent sexual violence?”
  • A Danish show where a woman stand completely silent and naked while men talk to each other about her body. The creator thinks Danish women emasculate men, and his show is “poetry” to address that.
  • And finally, from an anonymous editor: When I am at work and my boss almost catches me on the DDP thread: