Recently, Rosie wrote a fun and empowering post about having a little slutty, safe fun. Ok stop and read. It’s a fantastic post that makes me wish I was single and could fuck some sexy peoples. Because, as much I love my partner, I love being a slut. I think everyone should be a slut – Sexual Liberated Unforgettable Thing.
Obviously, I am a sex-positive person. I think that all safe and consensual sex is healthy – whether you have one partner for life or four partners in one weekend. If you like tender lovin’, good for you. If you like solo sex, good for you. If you like to be fucked so hard you bleed, good for fucking you! Sex is an individual experience and sexuality is a personal journey. More importantly, your worth as a person is not dictated by your sexual preference or your partner over time ratio.
I’m a SLUT. Like a big SLUT. I love having sex with people. I love to make people go crazy with my body. I am proud of the fact I give mind. blowing. head. I love pleasuring others and being pleasured myself. I am proud of the multiple sexcapadesI’ve been on and the many partners of various genders. When my ex fuck buddy told me that having sex with me was like riding unicorns in a field of daisies and rainbows, I thought I had reached the climax of my sexual adventures. Like really how do you beat that?
And yes that pun was intended.
I’ve always been a SLUT and pretty proud of it. When I was a kid, I was a lip slut. I would try to kiss as many people as possible. By the end of high school I had already made out with almost 100 people. Fuck yeah! In college, while some said “walk of shame” I called it the “stride of pride.” Whooo go me!
I’ve had my episodes of shame, where I felt that I was being too promiscuous. How could I not? We live in a culture that hypersexualizes people but shames anyone who is not a virgin. It’s easy to get caught up in other’s expectations. But screw that. I do not want society to decide about who, how, where or when I fuck. It is my choice. Under my control. In the words of Samantha from Sex in the City,
I choose to be a slut and I choose to slut-endorse. Now, being a SLUT isn’t for everyone, and that’s fine! I respect that. But for those looking to drop their undergarments, I have compiled a DIY steps to be a slut. An no, it’s not going to be like this….
ANYONE CAN BE A SLUT – it’s a pretty inclusive group and we aren’t too uptight about how often you have one-nighters.
1) Be absolutely honest with yourself. Being a slut can be self destructive if you are having sex for the wrong reasons. Sex is great but can make some of life’s problems a lot worse. Before picking up some hottie you’ll never see again at a conference, ask yourself why do you want to have sex. Are you horny and want a good romp in the sack? Is this one nighter an attempt to fill a void? Are you looking for a sex-venture? Are you trying to get back at an ex? Whatever your reasoning for wanting to fuck, make sure that you are doing it for you and because it will make you genuinely happy/satisfied.
2) Have open communication with your partner(s). I cannot say this enough. Talk to your partner. Have conversations before any sexual acts commence. Discuss what this relationship means and expectations. This is why it is important to be honest with yourself so you can disclose your aims and desires to you partner(s). Once sexy times have begun – keep talking. Tell him/her/them what you like, don’t like, what you prefer, if you are comfortable moving forward. You are entitled to vocalize all your comforts and discomforts. It is also important to listen to your partner(s) because they have the same sexual rights that you have. Dirty talk is also super hot.
3) CONSENT. Make sure all sexual activities are consentual. I recommend another article by Rosie about consent in practice. For kink, I will defer to M. Lunas Got Consent: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV. Go. Read. Educate yourself!
4) Use protection and get yourself tested regularly. This is the public health person in me to advocate for protection and regular testing. I don’t want to bore you with Sex ED 101 but I have to say that getting tested is the only way to know for sure if you have an STI. Once you know, you can treat the infection/its symptoms and prevent it spreading further. (Again- be honest with yourself AND your partners). I know it’s scary to sit in that waiting room and, well, wait. But you and your health are important. I always try to chat with the nurses to help the time pass. Last time I went, the woman taking my blood and I chatted about how Mitt Romney is a douche nosel. If you are going to be a SLUT it’s important to be safe.
5) Enjoy yourself. Sex is healthy and fun activity. It burns calories. Releases happy hormones. Be proud of the decisions you make. Surround yourself with people who respect you and your decisions. There will be haters and slut-shammers and they wil get their knickers in a bundle over your life… bit that’s just it. It’s your life.
Your body. Your sex. Your experience. Enjoy it. Lots of it.
So, beautiful readers, go forth, be healthy, be safe, and fuck like crazy. Be SLUTs!