Happy anniversary, Disruptors! One year ago today we kicked off this project of discussion, expression, learning, growth, and action. It’s been a good trip around the sun for us, and we’d like to celebrate by sharing our favorite posts.
Published 3/4/13 by Bridie
Bridie says: My favorite post that I have written for the blog is “I am not broken,” my piece about my experiences with infertility and our culture’s obsession with motherhood-as-sainthood.
It’s the first post I ever wrote, and I still think it’s one of the best. Posting it under my own name was the start of a year of honesty, vulnerability, and incredible connection that I could’ve never imagined a year ago. And I don’t think I would have written it, much less shared it, without the support of my fellow editors and the platform we have built together.
Luz says: I’m very proud of my Gender Bias in Science post. I’ve been thinking about it a lot since starting my PhD, which I hadn’t yet at the time I wrote it.
Rosie says: I think my favorite, under-seen post is “let’s talk about consent in practice.”
- Consent is not like stamping a train ticket, where once it’s stamped, you put it away and forget about it. Consent isn’t a commodity; it’s not a thing.
Gender equality and economic justice: 5 reasons why “profit over people” is a feminist issue
Published 5/1/13 by Kate (me!)
Early last year, there was pushback in the comments about whether economic issues even deserve a place in a feminist blog. Spoiler alert: they do! I wrote this post for May Day as an exploration of some big ways, from production to employment to advertising, in which feminism and economic justice intersect. I’m really proud of it!
- It’s like Fantine in Les Mis, but for real, right now, and you’re effectively paying the foreman by buying that sweater.
Lucy says: The idea for a post on bisexuality began to percolate long before I joined DDP. Joining the blog gave me the forum and the deadlines to make it happen. From the well-meaning (“you’ll eventually realize that you’re a lesbian”); to the ignorant (“so you date men and women at the same time?”); to the downright offensive (“wanna threesome?” and “I’d NEVER date a bisexual, I need a real dyke“); I’d experienced enough biphobic bullshit to piss me off for a long time. After obsessing about the post for so long, I was thrilled to see it resonate with so many people when I finally published.
Published 5/28/13 by Wiley
Wiley says: I want to talk about the words we forget about. The ones that either seem so harmless that it seems unimportant to replace them, or the ones that are so ingrained in our slang that it seems nearly impossible to avoid them.
Open letter to a loved one in an abusive relationship
Published 5/31/13 collaboratively
Bridie says: This is my favorite post DDP has ever published. It may also be the most important.
We wrote it collaboratively, pouring out our collective love for the people we know and the people we have been. Helping to write it was a powerful experience of healing for me.
What I love most is that according to our search terms, people who are in abusive relationships and who have loved ones in abusive relationships find this piece through Google every single day. At least five people, on average sometimes fifteen or twenty. They are looking for help, for advice, for words that will untangle the pain and confusion of their situation, and they find this letter.
I hope it helps them, as it has helped me. I hope they know that they are not alone, and there are people out there who love them and want to help. And I hope more people find it every day.
Reyes says: My favorite aspect of DDP are the research hours put into every post, even personal ones.
I wrote this post in reaction to Nadia Morris’s post about the sexism of shaving. To prepare myself, I had fantastic conversations with my friends about the styling (and removing) of our magnificent pubic hair. We had quality deeptalks about the little curls inside our butts, and the cat-tongue roughness of a not-so-newly-shorn labia. I shaved my pubes. I didn’t shave my pubes. I trimmed. I considered.
And I wrote this post. So go read it.
…. And now, it has a sweet epilogue.
About a month ago, Nadia Morris and I took a shower together. Nadia, you recall, finds shaving is sexist as fuck. Me, I think shaving can be sexy as fuck. And we both decided to get soapy together for important hygiene-related reasons.
About half-way through, I asked, “Hey, is it cool if I… shave my stuff?”
She said, “You mean your junk? Yeah, dude! Mind if I don’t join you?”
“That is totally cool, dude.” I said “Totally cool.”
And that is how we do.
Stevia says: This is my favorite piece I have written for DDP because of the incredible response I received from the Ultimate community, both my own network and nation-wide. It sparked discussion and tons of e-mails (both good and bad) that argued, accused, commiserated, and thanked. But most importantly, I heard from a number of team captains who said they had made it required reading for their coed teams and had discussions about how they could be more inclusive.
Jan says: I didn’t have a long list of ideas when I joined DDP, and in the early months I was constantly sure that the next post would be my last idea. The idea for How To Citizen came from Wiley, who wanted the political engagement process demystified, and I realized that I actually knew quite a bit about that topic that wouldn’t get said by official sources. One of the best things about being a group blog is that ideas can arise through discussion like that. It was also an attempt to be super accessible to people who don’t normally engage in movements, which has become one of my main goals for my writing on DDP. It’s election season again (when isn’t it?) so I hope re-reading it inspires you to speak up again about something you care about!
Enlightenment Reactionaries: Sexism and Racism in the Atheist Community
Published 8/30/13 by Robin
Robin says: I will choose my first post on Enlightenment Reactionaries.
Susan says: “Sensations: Navy Yard” is my fave post.
It came from a really honest place and conveys a part of myself that none of my other posts do. I think it communicates the transition from numbness to uneasy and very distracted and anxious and aaaah.
How to Tactfully Call Out Patriarchy
Published 9/19/13 by Jenny
Jenny says: AH – favorite is how to tactfully call out patriarchy!
Lunas says: When I was asked to join DDP, I knew instantly that I wanted to focus on talking about combating rape culture in kinky communities. And when what I wanted to say proved too much for one post, I split it into a series of posts, most of which ended up standing pretty well on their own, and are also (I like to think) relevant and accessible to non-kinksters. I spent a lot of time over last summer having deep talks with a number of friends about what was to be done. This culminated in my favorite piece, “Responsibility.” This post could also be known as: “You Will Fuck Up. What Happens Next?”
The fundamental notion is that fighting rape culture requires–among other things–changing how we communicate about mistakes and violations, in order to break through the silence and remove the social license to operate that predators too often enjoy. Predators hide behind everyone thinking “that could be me.” But most people aren’t rapists. So we need to teach the other 95% how to respond responsibly, in order to expose the behavior of predators as aberrant. Obviously it is incomplete and not always applicable; for example, it assumes both parties are able to engage, which is not always the case, nor should we expect it to be. But it’s a start, and I expect I’ll revisit this topic again.
Barbie says: My favorite post so far is the alcohol awareness one. It was a way for me to explore an issue that I had not thought much about before, even though it’s impacted the lives of so many people I love: namely the double standard in which if a guy is drunk he is exonerated from anything he does, whereas if a girl is drunk, she is blamed for anything someone else does to her. I chose to write it because I know too many men who have been let off the hook for hurting people and too many women who have had their stories dismissed, all on account of the double standards surrounding this substance. Also I like science.
Dominique says: My favorite post is my only bit of poetry on the blog, a piece called Renisha. 2013 was a rough year for black bodies, from the trial and acquittal of George Zimmerman and the fatal shooting of Jonathan Ferrell, to the re-visitation of the murder of Oscar Grant in the movie Fruitvale Station. I dealt with it all through reading and writing detached, ivory tower analyses of blackness and the police state and legal paradigms; signing petitions; marching through the streets in protest. When I heard about the shooting of Renisha McBride, yet another young black person dead because of racialized fear, yet another family fighting to get a thorough investigation, I felt only emptiness and raw pain. I had already expressed all of my systemic critiques. I had used up all of my anger. I had no more eloquent political arguments to share. All I had were these words.
Rebecca says: My favorite post is “NO Part I – How Mama Taught Me to Say No to Sex, a post about how my mother taught me (and thus empowered me) to assert my boundaries as a young child.
I wrote it because its not enough to tell someone to “just say no”. Instead, we must show them how to say “No”. And the earlier (younger), the better. Furthermore, I wanted to show that having the agency to decide one’s own boundaries (as opposed to boundaries that a parent, society, or some other external arbiters may deem “correct”) goes hand-in-hand with having the ability to assert them. My mother’s lesson has helped me SO much throughout my life. Now that its published, I hope it will help others as well.