We’ve been over this topic before, but since spring approacheth and with it skirts and creepy behavior, I thought we could all use a reminder.
Don’t be this guy.
OK: “Hey, it’s freezing, where’s your hat??”
NOT ok: “Smile, it’s not so bad!”
OK: “Where is the CVS?”
NOT ok: “Wanna take a shot with me?”
OK: “Hey, is that dog a Pomeranian?”
NOT ok: “Do you have a boyfriend?”
Is the difference clear? If you’d say it to a man or your grandma, it’s probably alright. If it’s about her personal life and you don’t know her first name, maybe hold off.
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“If you’d say it to man… it’s probably alright”
You mean, women are humans? And I should talk to them the way I’d talk to human beings I respect?? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS.
MADNESS.
Maybe a cultural thing, but I can’t see what’s wrong with “Smile, it’s not so bad.” But then, someone’s grandmother would say (has said several times) that to me in the street.
It just seems to be a very Scottish thing, and really isn’t any different from “How are you?”
It’s not really a pick up line or sleazy or anything, in my opinion. I’d love to hear your opinion as to why it’s harassment, to see if I’m somehow wrong in this.
The problem with telling women to smile isn’t that it’s sleazy, it’s that it’s a command. Sorry if I didn’t make that more clear in the post, but there’s something extremely patronizing about telling someone you don’t know, “Hey! Listen to me. Do as I say.” even if it’s meant harmlessly. While people elsewhere may say something like this to both men and women, in the states it’s nearly exclusively women.
Ah, that makes more sense. I (a man) have had this said to me by men and women before. And sometimes it has taken me out of whatever negative slump I’ve been in, and made my feel better. Sometimes it hasn’t, just depends how serious the thing is that has me down.
If it’s said nearly exclusively to women, then I can understand why you’d view it that way. And yeah, it can be patronizing. It also (in my experience) tends to be folk my age (30s) or older who say it.
Thanks for explaining