A few weeks ago, a Huff Post article To the Woman Behind Me in Line at the Grocery Store was circulating on my facebook news feed (spoiler: someone really needed to feed their kids but couldn’t, so a stranger bought them groceries. It was great). As I am among the .00001% of people under 75 years old who live without internet and like it that way, I didn’t get around to reading it until just now.
It made me think about the strangers I’ve met through out my life who have been kind to me without any benefit to themselves. Like the time I was living out of my car (voluntarily), when an aging hippie on a bike befriended me in the Walmart parking lot. He offered to let me use his house to shower and cook my meals if I wanted. I politely declined, but he bought me dinner anyway.
Or the time I was lost in DC at 4 in the morning in a bad neighborhood and unable to find my way back to my car. I was coming from a party and wearing a mini dress, feeling vulnerable and wishing I had brought my pepper spray. Out of the blue a taxi cab pulled over, even though it already had a fare in the back seat. “You look lost,” the driver told me, “and I wouldn’t want to be walking around at this time of night, if I were you. Want a ride?” I clambered in. The cabbie dropped off his other fare, then drove me to the right street and helped me find my car. For the life of him, he would not accept payment for the ride.
Or the time I was 19 years old and working at Coldstone Creamery. I was clad in a dorky black visor, my hair was a mess, and I smelled of burnt waffle cones. A girl my age walked straight up to me and told me I had a beautiful smile. I grinned the rest of the night.
An important thing to think about is how different types of privilege play into the kindness I receive from others. Did the cabbie find me more approachable because I am white? Did the man at Walmart offer to let me use his house because I am small and sound educated? How would my experience be affected if I was a person of color? If I was a heavier person? If I was trans*?
I’m starting a list of random acts of kindness to strangers I want to do, at least one per month. I would encourage you all to do the same, but here is my challenge to you. If you decide to be randomly kind to a stranger, pay attention to identities. Do you see any patterns in who you’re moved to help? Is it because they look just like you? Is it only people who DON’T look like you? Are you making any assumptions about them and their needs based on what they look like? Food for thought as you go off to do good in the world.
Here is my list:
- Pick a random table in a restaurant and ask their waiter if I can pay their bill
- Offer emotional support to a stranger who looks like they need it
- Tell someone they are beautiful
At least, this is what I plan to do when I move out of the country and can actually MEET some strangers. And to brighten your day, I’ll include some links of MORE random acts of kindness you can look at!
This one has pictures!
This one has IDEAS of kindness for you to do to others!
This one is A MOVIE
Remember, we can all use a little more love and kindness in the world. Have a beautiful day!
I have been the recipient of many, many random acts of kindness. I try to pay it forward in small ways. I do think that my gender plays a role, and you’ve given me something to think about.
I absolutely am aware that being read as a small, white, female means I get targeted for random acts of kindness more often than not– and that I can walk around grocery stores with my backpack on while a poc often can not.
I started to write that I make my decisions about random acts of kindness, but then I stopped and realized– that’s not true. A parent struggling with children and groceries at the same time will get my offer of help, regardless of perceived gender– but when I travel greyhound (which I do about three times a year), I absolutely gravitate towards single mothers to help out, and avoid single dudes.
That’s just one example. Hmmmm. Thoughts to ponder…