As I have so frequently mentioned, I have depression! I’ve been actively treating it for about two years now, but it’s very clear to me that it’s going to take fairly involved management for the rest of my life. I would love to just crush it with my mind a la Jack Donaghy, but my therapist tells me I have to be realistic. So I’ve made myself a list of things that help me manage my depression as a long-term illness. This includes things that make me feel better in the moment, but it’s mostly about taking care of myself, and building a foundation during my better days so that I have support during my worst.
#wisdom
1. Maintain ties with friends. Even sending a quick letter helps. I keep note cards, envelopes and stamps around the house so I can send off a quick note every once in a while.
2. Get outside, even if for a little while. There’s some science that backs this up as a Good Idea, in case you think I’m full of shit. I set myself reachable goals…if I feel super horrible, I’m allowed to go outside for two minutes and it counts.
3. Make lists of what I’m good at. Depression makes me think I suck at everything. Making lists of stuff I’m good at, like roasting chicken, or finding bunny gifs on the internet, helps me remember I have things to be proud of.
4. TAP. This brain-reprogramming technique has been revolutionary for me. Sometimes if I’m feeling lazy or I only have a minute, I’ll just say what’s bothering me out loud, and then the affirmation sentence.
5. Break large tasks down into small ones. CLEAN THE WHOLE HOUSE? ARE YOU CRAZY? Do a load of laundry, then dust the picture frames? Now you’re talkin’.
6. Keep my space clean. Having a clean living space makes me feel productive, and it makes me feel at home. It’s also something I can be proud of, and something I can break down into small tasks to get done. See how intersectional this shit is?
7. Take a shower every day. God I hate showering when I’m depressed. Alone with my thoughts and naked and WET? Ugh. But taking a shower is a) good for personal hygiene and b) kind of a mini reset button. Some days it can help me get going.
8. Keep my doctor’s appointments and take my medicine according to direction. YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED AT HOW HARD THIS IS. But good grief withdrawal from anti-depressants is scary. I learned this the hard way about 80 times before I locked my shit down.
9. Exercise. Yo. It helps. I count literally anything physical as exercise–stretching my planter muscles is exercise. But it’s important for me to do something physical every day.
10. Remember that I am a person with a disease, not a disease driving a person around. Some days I remember this. Some days I don’t. But it is, in fact, the truth. People who are not me, like my girlfriend and friends are helpful in reminding me of this.
Ok, so that’s what I do. What do you do, internet? And don’t say St. John’s Wort, that shit tastes like a decaying Yankee Candle.
I really appreciated this post. I know that some activity, even only a few minutes, can make a difference for me. I also know that making sure I get Vitamin D, either via exposure to sun or via a sublingual supplement helps.
The point I really needed to hear was #10. This is true for me in regards to the mental health issues as well as the diabetes. And lo and behold, the two can be very connected.
My partners and I recently made a spreadsheet in Google docs where we listed and categorized all of our depression strategies. The categories ranged from “sleep” to “activities” to “medications” to “things that feel good” and varied between low-bar activities and super-bonus stretch goals. (For instance, under “be outside” we have “stand outside for 2 minutes” and “sit next to an open window” as well as “go on a hike” or “garden”).
It feels helpful for me to have that spreadsheet easily accessible, because one of the most frustrating aspects of depression is how helpless it can make me feel. Especially when the more obvious or commonly-given suggestions (seeing a psychiatrist, going running every day) seem completely impossible.
This is such a good list. Something that’s really good for me (and kind of connected to number 10) is to admit that I feel shitty without needing to immediately do something about it. Often I’ll notice the depression starting to rear its head and I’ll immediately go into panic mode to try to stop it, which really only makes me obsess over it more. Recognizing that it’s something that passes, at least for a time, can make a huge difference.
As someone who also has episodes of mania, most of these suggestions are also excellent for that. They can promote stability, not just lift your mood! And I’m sure they can be helpful even for people who don’t struggle with depression, just in terms of keeping their mental space in tip-top shape.
Thanks for writing this!
I’ve been struggling with mental health issues since high school. I’ve hit some very low points and been at very even, manageable points at various times. Because of financial issues, I had to stop seeing a therapist. And then I had to stop taking my anti-depressants. I know that its very, very bad to stop taking psychiatric meds cold turkey but I did it anyway. It was physically rough but thankfully that was it.
When the meds finally got out of my system, my body started feeling better than I ever remembering it being. I’m at a very even and manageable state in my mental health and I think developing a routine to get to sleep without the help of medication has made the biggest change. I used to be terrified of those moments before you fall asleep as that was when my mind would wander the most in awful places.
What works for me is turning off all the lights and reading until my eyes get tired. If I’ve chosen a good book, my mind will wander only in pleasant or cathartic ways and I’ll have easy dreams. And without my meds, I have a much easier time waking up in the morning.
I’ve found that getting a good rhythm where sleep is concerned really helps me stabilize where depression is concerned. Typically I get up to get ready for class at 6:30 am, so I’m ready to go to sleep again around 9-ish. Sort of in general, the thing that’s helped me is knowing myself and how I respond to stuff: how much sleep I need, figuring out when and what to eat so I don’t overeat and feel like crap later, what exercise I should do and how to motivate myself to do it, all of that.
I’m a little late to the party, but I enjoyed this post. Personally, I intentionally chose a career field that requires me to be outside and moving around most days, as well as being surrounded by really helpful coworkers. I have trouble keeping #1 covered, though, and whenever I feel the cloud coming over the horizon, I scramble to get back in touch with people I haven’t talked to in a while.