Sometimes I like being different. Sometimes it gets very, very tiring. Recently, I started living in a house full of trans people. Three out of five of us are trans. Living in an atmosphere of people who get it makes me even less patient with people who don’t. Kinda not sorry about that. But because I’m one o’ them accomodatin’ transsexuals* I’m going to give you some educational tips.
Here’s a list of things not to say to trans people.
- “Biological male” see also: biological female
- You pass so well!
- Don’t do that [gesture/movement/dance move], it makes you look less feminine/masculine.
- “No, shake my hand harder, like a man would.”
Here’s a list of things that will clue us in to the fact that you’re not seeing us as the correct gender:
- Telling us we should smile more when we’re male identified (note: telling women to smile is sexist and also bollocks, but telling a trans man to smile is sexist AND identity-denying)
- Referring to our bodies/body parts by words that we don’t identify with. This goes for everyone but especially sexual partners and doctors.
- Obsessively praising our outfits or makeup.
Here’s some things you can do to make us feel included:
- Invite us to events for the gender we identify as. Don’t invite us to events that are specifically for a gender we are not.
- Family restrooms.
- If you’re going to use gendered honorifics and words like brother, madam, mister, etc…use them naturally and don’t over-emphasize them.
Thanks for flying with Trans Airways. Enjoy your stay in Houston.
*note: I can say this word to refer to myself. You cannot say it about me or other people.