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Disrupting Dinner Parties

~ Feminism is for everyone!

Disrupting Dinner Parties

Category Archives: Organizing

Five Family-Friendly Feminist Fights

27 Sunday Sep 2015

Posted by Kate in Career, Class, Organizing, Parenting, Politics, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

#standwithPP, black lives matter, childcare, dignified wage, family, family leave, family values, feminist, fight for 15, mass incarceration, maternity leave, minimum wage, movement for black lives, paternity leave, planned parenthood, police violence, reproductive health, reproductive justice, reproductive rights, trans, universal childcare

Let’s talk about family values, y’all. I’m not talking about the so called “family values” pushed by the religious right. This isn’t some anti-marriage-equality Focus on the Family nonsense that keeps families from accessing legal rights. And it’s not about pressuring hetero couples to maintain gender norms for the good of the children, nor is it about taking reproductive choices away from people. No, the anti-feminists have falsely laid claim to the political realm of the family for too long.

Families are important, and family values, real family values, are feminist values. To prove it to you, here’s a list of five family-forward policies feminist are pushing for and taking action on–and way that you can join in the work.

It's a cute baby in a ruffly dress, kinda sad or confused facial expression, tongue slightly out of mouth

Please enjoy this marginally relevant stock photo of an adorable baby.

Continue reading →

Teens Need Families Too: A Chance to Advocate for Teens in Foster Care

17 Tuesday Mar 2015

Posted by wileyreading in Economics, Empowerment, Human Rights, Organizing, Parenting, Politics, Queer-LGBTQIA, Race and Racism

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

ACS, adoption, foster care, fostering, teens, teens in foster care, You Gotta Believe

As someone who cares deeply about the plight of teens in the foster care system, the news that funding is being cut for recruitment for quality foster (and foster-to-adopt) homes for teenagers in foster care shocked and horrified me. One of the organizations that’s going to feel the biggest impact is called “You Gotta Believe,” and they do incredible work. Check them out here.

Rebecca of Fosterhood has compiled a good list of people to contact to advocate against funding cuts, and to support “You Gotta Believe” in particular, but I thought I’d clarify the contact list and add my personal comments.

via http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/05/08/1979891/congress-reintroduces-bill-to-end-lgbt-discrimination-in-adoption-and-foster-care/

It is essential to address all officials by their titles or “Honorable [Name].” Here’s the letter I’m sending:

To the Honorable [insert official here],

I am deeply concerned that it appears as though the Administration for Childrens Services (ACS) plans to discontinue all funding for specialized recruitment services for teens, which means that You Gotta Believe will not be funded by the city to do their critical work after 3/31.

This ends a contract for over 13 years, during which time they have licensed hundreds of homes and placed hundreds of our older youth in permanent loving families so they can grow into appreciated, loved and successful adults.  They are the only agency solely focused on working with older youth and providing them with lifetime families, not temporary foster homes that last only until the youth “age out.”

Teens desperately need these services and it is in the best interest of the city to continue to support its youth, no matter their origin or family status.

On a personal note, I, if I had been in the system (and almost was, though kin stepped in before that became necessary), would have been very hard to place. I was angry, gay,and learning disabled, and because I had a variety of people in my life who gave me tough love and supported me, I’m a healthy, loving adult who now works to make things better for kids from disadvantaged backgrounds. You Gotta Believe helps kids like me, and they need the support of their city and elected officials.

Thank you for your attention to this extremely important matter.

Best,

[name]

And here are the people to contact–phone calls are even more effective than emails, so if you can, please call. You do not have to be a resident of NYC to contact any of these officials but it helps if you are.

Continue reading →

The Problem of Power: Sarah Sullivan, Steven Mitchell, and Building Better Communities

04 Wednesday Feb 2015

Posted by ddpguestposter in Empowerment, Harassment, Organizing, Rape Culture

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

abuse, community, consent culture, lindy hop, organizing, rape culture, sarah sullivan, steven mitchell

this is a guest post written by Lena Chervin

 

bottom half

On January 22nd, 2015, Sarah Sullivan, a prominent teacher and organizer in the Baltimore lindy hop community published a blog post detailing her experience of being sexually assaulted by Steven Mitchell, a popular international lindy hop instructor.

Her post has sparked outrage and debate throughout the lindy community worldwide. Within days of posting, over 350 comments were made on the blog; at least four other women reported their own stories of sexual assault at the hands of Steven Mitchell; an online national panel of swing dance leaders met to discuss safer spaces; a Safe Dance Spaces Tumblr was created; and Steven Mitchell was dis-invited from teaching at several events.

Perhaps most importantly, there has been an explosion of conversation online, both in forum groups such as Safety Dance, and on individuals’ private Facebook walls.

As our community works through all this, it is vital that we recognize the role that power and social capital play in sexual violence within our communities. The vast majority of people who hold power in our communities contribute nothing but positivity. However, a select few misuse their power-whether intentionally or not. Perhaps if we recognize and understand how power is used as a tool for abuse, we can prevent sexual violence by simply taking that tool away from the people misusing it.

Continue reading →

7 Policies to advocate for #BlackLivesMatter

08 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by Kate in Human Rights, Organizing, Politics, Race and Racism

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

#blacklivesmatter, #ferguson, #handsupdontshoot, #icantbreathe, police brutality, police impunity, police profiling

In my social circles online and in person, I’ve seen and heard people wondering what they can do in support of the #BlackLivesMatter movement. I certainly can’t claim to speak for the movement, but from what I’ve heard and read from other participants, I’ve compiled a short, non-exhaustive list of policies you can support to end police profiling, brutality, and impunity against Black folks in the US.

A Black woman with tape over her mouth on which the words "I can't breathe" are written

Photo by Carl Juste via AP

Of course, changing policy is only one way to take action on this issue. At the heart of this is changing the value placed on Black lives, by society, by individuals, and by institutions. There are also non-policy-focused ways you can affect change, like helping change attitudes among your personal social network,donating to organizations leading the movement or to the victims and victims’ families, speaking out publicly against racism whenever you see it, and participating in actions out in the streets. If you’re White and wondering what to do, here are twelve ideas to get you started.

BYP 100 has a brilliant document of policy recommendations, which have inspired many items on this list. I highly recommend reading it in full for more details than this short list will include.

1.Establishing citizen review boards
Citizen review boards with firing power can create consequences for police brutality that the current system fails to do. Here’s one example of what that would look like. I’ve also heard people advocate for a federal division to prosecute local law enforcement violence, perhaps in the Civil Rights section of the Justice Department.

2. Demilitarization of police
Call your Congressional representatives in support of H. R. 5478, to end “Program 1033” which allows the Pentagon to sell war equipment to local police stations. The bill is bipartisan, but right now Congressional Republicans are blocking it. Find out which reps are blocking it and start calling campaigns in their districts. You can also advocate for demilitarization from a local level–find out whether your municipality participates in 1033 and pressure them not to. Continue reading →

Open Thread: Where should feminism be in 15 years?

19 Wednesday Nov 2014

Posted by Kate in Open Thread, Organizing

≈ 8 Comments

Let’s get reflective this Wednesday.

mirror

Here in 2014, being trans is still considered a mental illness by the American Psychiatric Association.* Women face threats of death, rape, and mass shootings for having opinions about video games. 33 states (counting DC) have legalized same sex marriage, while 16 have banned it. Four states have a domestic workers’ bill of rights. Beyonce and Benedict Cumberbatch are avowed feminists. I am getting tired of listing things…

As we head toward our next calendar year, let’s take a moment before the turkey- and/or sugar-comas kick in to think about what we’re building toward in our future:

Where do we want feminism to be in fifteen years?

What do we want to have changed about the world? What do we want to have changed about ourselves as a movement? Please speak up in the comments below!

Continue reading →

This is a Ferguson Omnibus

22 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by lucysmall in Media, Organizing, Race and Racism

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

#blacklivesmatter, #ferguson, #handsupdontshoot, #Justiceformikebrown, police brutality

If you’ve looked at a computer or television screen in the last week, you’ve probably heard something about Ferguson, MO and a boy named Michael Brown. Perhaps you’ve heard a lot of conflicting stories. Let’s gets some facts straight.

This is Michael Brown. He was 18 years old when he was murdered by Officer Darren Wilson.

This is Michael Brown, on the right. He was 18 years old when he was murdered by Officer Darren Wilson.

Continue reading →

But The Real World

20 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by Dominique in Organizing

≈ 3 Comments

There is an argument, I’ll call it “BUT THE REAL WORLD,” that goes like this:

“I don’t let students into class without ID badges because in the real world most of you will end up in prison or with jobs where you have to wear name tags, so you need to practice.”

“Trans conference attendees can’t really expect there to be single stall or gender neutral bathroom options- that’s not a thing in the real world.”

“You shouldn’t need to use a computer for this course as a disability accommodation, because in the real world, you cannot carry your computer everywhere.”

Sexual assault survivors triggered and sent into relapse by a statue of a naked man placed next to their home should just close their eyes or go somewhere else because in “the real world” there are triggers.

I’ve heard this argument used many times- from activists circles where it was a convenient excuse for lazy allyship, to my shitty urban public high school, where it was used to justify unfair policies and trifling building conditions. Instead of “Making our communities safe and accessible and nurturing for as many people as we can, and particularly for marginalized groups, is a desirable goal but it is difficult and sometimes we will fail,” a popular idea seems to be “It is my moral obligation to make moving through this space as difficult as I speculate it is in the “real world” so that you can be a badass when you get there” – which can be a useful mindset to have for intentional, consensual, and time constrained purposes.

civil-rights-2

This young lady made the choice to submit herself to this shit so she could be a badass at a lunch counter sit in later

Continue reading →

Who’s Not In The Dungeon?

14 Friday Feb 2014

Posted by M. Lunas in Kink, Organizing

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

community, safety, signal boost, survey

So this isn’t a very cheerful post for Valentines Day (for that, see here and here), but it’s important, and it’s been on my mind. See, my sweeties and I are headed to a big kink conference this weekend. I expect it will be a lot of fun. It’s pretty much the perfect way to spend Valentine’s Day, as far as I’m concerned. But I am also painfully aware that there are people I care about who no longer feel safe going to such events. And that’s a huge problem. And yet it is often an invisible one. Regardless of the context, people tend not to keep track of those who leave their communities. People leave, and they just…disappear. Maybe you look around and everything seems okay with the people you meet. But what about the people who are no longer the room? Why did they leave? What can we learn from them?

It’s not always easy to answer, because when people leave a community, they tend not to talk about it. For starters, they may not want to or feel able to tell their friend in the community, because of fear of–or actual experiences of–being silenced or shamed or told “it just isn’t a big deal.” And they may not feel able to talk to people outside the community, especially if revealing their former membership could have negative social consequences–as is often true for kinksters. So maybe you have things that you want others to hear, but don’t know how to talk about it. And we so need to talk about it. There’s a battle going on in kink communities around consent (as I’ve written about a bunch). Yet some of the voices who have the most to contribute aren’t present.

Blogger and activist Motley Mayhem is out to change that, and I want to signal boost her work.  She’s started a project to collect and aggregate stories from people who have left BDSM or kink communities, and their reasons for doing so.  You can go fill out the survey form here.  There is a FAQ post about it, and a follow-up here.

More thoughts on the survey, on scenes and communities, and my own experiences, below the fold.

exit

Continue reading →

Let’s Not Get Ahead of Ourselves

22 Wednesday Jan 2014

Posted by lucysmall in Communication, Organizing

≈ Leave a comment

When you’ve spent enough time thinking, reading, and acting on something you care about, you sometimes forget that not everyone thinks the way you do. Not everyone hangs out in your amazing queer, feminist, sex-positive bubble. When you encounter those people who aren’t there yet, it feels like crap. But, before you completely give up on humanity, I assure you there are ways engage in conversations about social justice that a) won’t make you want to claw your eyes out and b) make people more likely to actually listen to you. 

Continue reading →

Open Thread: What We’re Building

27 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by Kate in Gender Roles, Harassment, Open Thread, Organizing

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

2013, 2014, Activism, ambi, ambidancetrous, blues, community, consent culture, cooperative living, group houses, intentional communities, new year, safer spaces, sexual harassment, social justice, swing

We talk a lot on this blog about dismantling systems of oppression, and about what we want to build to replace them. I see the welcoming of the new year as a time of intention setting, so this open thread is dedicated to sharing stories of those who are building something. Tell us the cool stories of work you or others are involved in to make the world better. Let’s all get inspired for 2014!

I’ll start with three:

1. Ambidancing: In lots of partner dancing, leading and following is tied pretty strongly, historically and currently, to gender roles. The people at Ambidancetrous think that sucks, and they’re working to build dance scenes where everyone has a real option to lead or follow. They tell us why single-role scenes are sexist, why the nod to ambi isn’t enough, how to change it as an instructor or a dance partner…and give us some past and present visual inspiration:

Two men dancing, Harlem, 1920s

Two men dancing, Harlem, 1920s

Continue reading →

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