The following post is about my learning disability. This is my writing raw, before I send it out for comments / edits. I am leaving it this way to show me unfiltered and unashamed.
This July, I was diagnosed with Moderate ADHD at almost 23 years old. While every case of ADHD is different, my disability affects me in a way that makes simple things difficult, like, remembering things or giving my full attention to tasks after I’ve already spent an extended period of time on them. I’m impulsive, which can be endearing or enraging depending on the situation. I’m extremely hyper and, if I’m not physically active enough during my day, I become overwhelming anxious with the amount of energy that is trapped in me. The diagnosis was not a shock to me and I volunteered for testing because I wanted to understand myself better. I had struggled with assignments all through school. I would edit my own papers for hours but some how they would be marked up in red when I got them back. Teachers and professors praised me that I was intelligent but careless. I was also incredibly forgetful. I was losing my phone at least two to four times a day because I just couldn’t remember where it was. I would forget to text people back for days (probably because I couldn’t find my phone…). While these sound like petty, little things, they manifest into something larger when you start to believe that you are stupid or lazy or thoughtless or an airhead. You begin to think that, instead of you are just different, that you are worth less than someone without your disability. You internalize it and you believe it.