I recently realized that I have an issue with feminine women. As a person who ID’s as a woman and often presents femininely and is attracted to feminine women, this is a bit of a conundrum.
Here’s the story: when I first came out, I didn’t know how to reconcile my gender presentation with my sexuality. Like many queer women, my first introduction to lady-on-lady relationships was The L Word. I wanted to see myself in the characters and, in order to do that, I felt that I had to choose one to connect with. I was really attracted to Shane – like, super into her. But I also thought Carmen was fine as hell. But Shane and Carmen were dating each other and although Carmen totally had a thing with Jenny, who was relatively feminine like she was, Shane, who mastered tomboy swag, only seemed to date femmes.
While I was attracted to Shane, I also kind of wanted to be her.
Complete with the stunted emotional growth and inability to commit.